apology

Can i just keep silent, but i can't lie to myself if i lie to myself it will stuck in my head forever and yes i do have the answer but i don't know when can i let it out the answer. Maybe it will get shock or laugh but i'm serious i can't lie anymore and now is not the time yet. What if stuck into the same place in two years time. Should i or should not? Well this is life and i have to decide. I do not want to have any signs or anything and i do not want to hope for it.